Post Grad Problems Blog » Internets

1. Babies

People are having babies, and they are constantly posting pictures of their spawn on Facebook and Instagram.  With every passing month there are less pictures of hot girls in bikinis doing body shots off of each other on spring break, and more pictures of drooling miniature people occupying your Facebook news feed.  It’s a constant reminder that while other people have become adults, you remain in a perpetual state of arrested development.

2. The Gym

It seems like every loser with a Gold’s Gym membership is determined to constantly remind you that they work out.   You can’t get through an Instagram refresh session without seeing some tool flexing his abs in the mirror.  Admittedly, it’s less annoying when it’s an attractive member of the opposite sex shamelessly flaunting their toned post-grad bod, but it’s still a pathetic call for attention.

3. People Who Use Facebook Like It’s Twitter

Everybody has at least one friend on Facebook who updates their status with useless information that’s meant for Twitter.

“Heading to the Miami Heat game tonight. Really looking forward to seeing LeBron dominate.”

Thanks for keeping us updated, bandwagon nerd.  Get a Twitter account.  That’s what it’s for.

4. Engagement Photos

You can’t sign in without coming across another engagement announcement. It’s like Father Time is slapping you in the face with every "She said yes!" status. Nothing is worse than the engagement photo album, though. How many different poses and photo shoot locations are necessary to prove that you are truly in love?

5. Vacation Updates

Just because you’re on vacation in the British Virgin Islands doesn't mean you have to rub it in our faces. Think about your friends who are sitting in their cubicles at their shitty jobs, suffering from mild depression, before you upload 426 photos of you frolicking on the beach across every single form of social media. You’re having a good time. We get it. Stop rubbing it in.

6. Pet Obsession

There is a line when it comes to uploading photos of your pet. If the ratio is so far skewed that there are five pictures of your cat for every one photo of you, you’re doing it wrong. Everybody loves their pets, but we don’t need a new photo every time "Sprinkles" has a bowel movement. For the love of God, control yourself.

7. Throwback Thursday

Everybody gets one. If your Instagram is filled with “Throwback Thursday” pictures and nothing else, it only serves as confirmation for the rest of the world that your current life sucks ass.  Go out and do something worthy of some new pictures, and quit living in the past.

8. Connecting On LinkedIn

Just because we sat next to each other in third grade history class doesn’t mean we need to connect on LinkedIn.  My job sucks, your job sucks more, we can’t help each other, and there’s no reason for us to “connect.”

9. Pictures Of Food

You just posted a picture of your 6-ounce sirloin at Chili’s, including a geo tag.  Are you fucking kidding me?   We’re all really impressed, guy.  That’s once in a lifetime fine dining, right there.  Unless you’re posting a photo of a meal prepared by a world-class chef that is going to melt my brain and truly be worthy of the hashtag #foodporn, spare us.

10. Happiness

If you have to constantly remind everyone of how perfect your life is, how great everything is going, and how #blessed you are, then you’re miserable and we know it.  Either that or you’re just an annoying braggart.  Cram it up your ass.

 1.  SomeEcards

This trend started way back late last decade, gaining popularity on Facebook, primarily with girls. I thought they were pretty funny. They depicted early 20th century folk doing different things that 20th century folk might do. Dry, sarcastic and self-loathing, these things went viral and everyone got in on the craze.

Then they started letting people create their own SomeEcards, and idiots got their hands on them. I’m sure you’ve gotten these in your inbox from co-workers, parents and friends. The genesis of the ruined meme usually stems from someone trying to showcase their political or religious beliefs and recklessly using these memes and ruining them for good, fun-loving folks on the internet.

2.  Condescending Wonka

Some memes are so great that they flame out quicker than they went viral. Condescending Wonka is a prime example. This meme of a screen cap of Gene Wilder from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory quickly went viral and the snark-fest was on from the moment it hit the net.

Like any fallen meme, these soon turned political and thus, jumped the shark with the greatest of ease. But it wasn’t so much ruined by politics as it was from becoming way too repetitive and predictable.

3.  What People Think I Do/What I Really Do

Again, another meme that was great early on before rapidly transforming into another irritating internet nuisance that flooded your Facebook timeline every day for weeks. Like all burnt out memes, this one was pretty damn funny and well executed in the beginning…

And then, it just got repetitive and unfunny.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4.  Gangnam Style

File this one away with the Macarena, YMCA and other once awesome stuff that old white people have run into the ground. The most popular video in YouTube history took the world by storm last summer, and I’ll admit it, I liked it. I thought it was a cool video of a funny, chubby Korean dude doing goofy dances to a catchy tune. Next thing I knew, people were treating it like a masterpiece, blasting the song everywhere from sporting events to Saturday Night Live.

The song by Korean (and noted hater of America, the country that made him famous and gave him his MBA http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/psy_america_hate_1LnmKkVIjuF3iSda8hXLIP) artist Psy…what am I talking about? You guys know all about it. The song was gumball 3000’d into a ditch weeks after it went viral and was ruined yet again by people who just don’t understand how quickly comedy can become old and stale. To date, the video has 1.5 billion YouTube views. I don’t even know how to begin explaining that.

Now every time I hear this song, instead of remembering how goofy that Korean guy was when he was dancing in the video, I will only think of old white people trying to do the Gangnam Style dance at weddings and it ruins my afternoon.

One more note, next time you see someone trying to do the Gangnam Style dance at a wedding, punch them in the face.